Returned to Sender

May. 7th, 2014 at 10:22 PM

I watch you move with catlike grace

An eager longing on my face

Your eyes take note, and beckon hither

Obedient, to you I slither

A brush, surrendered to my care

Is woven, breathless, through your hair

I’m powerless to overcome

I knead you til my fingers numb

I need you as my heartache sighs

And feed you til my blood takes rise

I fulfill your every inclination

You welcome absolute prostration

But fail to match desire most yearned

Three desperate words, not yet returned

Whispered with an offered hand

Are met with but a smirk, “Yes, and...?”

LJI WEEK 8:
YES AND

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

similiesslip

May. 8th, 2014 03:37 am (UTC)

I really love this. I love how fresh and unique the vocabulary is in this poem :)

Very well done!

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mamas_minion

May. 8th, 2014 06:56 pm (UTC)

Thank you. I wanted to see if I could pull off a decent lament for this topic.

Edited at 2014-05-08 07:33 pm (UTC)

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eternal_ot

May. 8th, 2014 11:00 am (UTC)

Awesome work! Well done!..:)

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mamas_minion

May. 8th, 2014 06:57 pm (UTC)

thanks. I wanted to do poetry this time.

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halfshellvenus

May. 8th, 2014 08:28 pm (UTC)

Aw. :( Even if the earlier part of poem didn't show what a slave to the other person's affections the narrator was, the last part was a cruel, cruel blow.

By which I mean, well done, but damn.

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mamas_minion

May. 8th, 2014 09:06 pm (UTC)

Thank you

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mistearyusdiva2

May. 9th, 2014 09:46 am (UTC)

Quite a different path .... enjoyed it inspite of not being so much of a poetry person :) The end was shockingly realistic of our times !!!

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mamas_minion

May. 9th, 2014 01:26 pm (UTC)

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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bleodswean

May. 9th, 2014 06:50 pm (UTC)

A very intriguing take on the prompt. The second stanza is strong!

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mamas_minion

May. 9th, 2014 07:03 pm (UTC)

Thanks, I like to think outside the box on the topics.

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karmasoup

May. 9th, 2014 07:36 pm (UTC)

How cruel! Great job representing the pang of unrequited affection... nice how you made it sneak up on us! It was almost a love sonnet, and then, whoops! Not so much.

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mamas_minion

May. 9th, 2014 08:45 pm (UTC)

Thank you, I am glad you got the longing the author has for his subject.

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