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The Woodshed

Fehed quietly closed the door and pressed himself against the wall next to it.

Vittorio, from the opposite side of the door, also leaning against the wall, directed his attention to his companion.

          “How bad is it?” he casually asked of Fehed.

                     “It’s bad,” came the worried reply.  “There are more in there than I was expecting, and they are definitely not docile.”

Fehed tried not to look about like he felt, but couldn’t help himself, as his inward concern showed through on his outward countenance.

  “We can do this, Fehed,” Vittorio assured him.  “Keep your head up, son,” he said.  “This will be a piece of cake, you’ll see.”

Vittorio smiled at his comrade.

  “Just stick to the game plan, kid,” he encouraged, giving the big guy a mock-slug in the shoulder.  Everything will be fine.”

Fehed shook his head, wanting to believe his elder, more experienced cohort.

        “Okay,” he sighed. “But you're taking point on this one.”

Fehed took a deep breath and exhaled, then swung upon the door, and confidently strut himself in like he owned the place.  Vittorio strolled in behind him, grinning, as Fehed was immediately struck between the eyes, dead center.  Fehed let out a long, slow sigh, and crumpled the paper airplane that had smacked him in the face into a ball in his fist.  Vittorio, though, bringing up the rear, took the worst of the damage; he was peppered with dozens of sticky, dripping spitballs.

        “A piece of cake, huh?” Fehed grunted at the old man.

  “Alright, so it’s not a great start,” Vittorio cursed under his breath.  “...but we can recover from this,” he followed, wiping spitballs from his shirt.

Fehed cleared his throat, and looked over the crowd, before addressing “the enemy.”

        “Class, my name is Fehed Ajam, and this is Vittorio Bandoni.  I am an agent from the Ndakinna Inquiry Center, and Vittorio serves on the Gallian Analytics Bureau.”

  “And do any of you know what those agencies are?” Vittorio interrupted.

At this, several children in the class started waving their hands frantically, accompanied by a rising din like the sound
of curious chimps.  Vittorio pointed to one of the boys who had nailed him with a spit ball.

  “How about you, young man?” he offered to the excited student.

                  “You're spies!” the boy blurted out enthusiastically.

        “Well,” Fehed began, warily.  “We’re not exactly spies, per se...”

  “That is exactly what we are,” Vittorio broke in again.  “We make sure you are all safe by keeping the bad guys from getting their hands on dangerous secrets.”

Fehed turned his back to the class in order to speak sideways at his partner.

        “What in blue blazes do you think you’re doing?” Fehed hissed at him.

  “Just follow my lead,” Vittorio muttered back from the corner of his mouth.  “You take the next question and make the response interesting... remember, these are 5th graders after all.”

Fehed rolled his eyes once more and exhaled hard, exasperated.  He was never going to disobey orders again.  This was literally the worst assignment he’d ever been given.  Rhiannon had told them she was going to “take them to the woodshed” for their behavior on the last case, but this was just too much.

  “Things could be worse,” Vittorio buzzed in his ear, echoing his thoughts.  “We could have wound up teaching a preschool class.”

Fehed simply shook his head and froze on his face his best gritted grimace to the class, all the while counting down to himself the remaining hours of their “training reinforcement exercise.”  He was pretty sure that was code for “punishment.”

        “One down,” he murmured through clenched teeth.  “...four more to go.”


Additional stories from this world, in chronological order:
| In The Beginning  |  Escalation  |  Project X  |  The Woodshed  |
| Meet the New Boss  |  Back To Reality   |  The Interview |
| The Turing Test  |  Ohm’s Law  |  Hero’s Anthem |


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 13th, 2014 03:31 pm (UTC)
Oh man, these poor guys. Teaching a group of 5th graders as punishment? Seems legit.
Aug. 13th, 2014 04:52 pm (UTC)
Yeah I though making them teach children would be an interesting punishment

Edited at 2014-08-13 04:54 pm (UTC)
Aug. 13th, 2014 04:28 pm (UTC)
What could they have done to deserve such a punishment? I liked the set-up. It sounds like they're going into military combat! At least the kids seemed enthusiastic once Fehed and Vittorio started talking.
Aug. 13th, 2014 04:53 pm (UTC)
Not sure what they did to deserve this fate alas a tale for another day. I was hoping the combat setup woudl work.
Aug. 13th, 2014 06:24 pm (UTC)
Heh. This is cute. So successful because of your mad skill with a keyboard.
Aug. 13th, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC)
Aw thank you.
Aug. 13th, 2014 08:55 pm (UTC)
I think that IS punishment. Though I like the sneaky euphemism used to disguise it...
Aug. 13th, 2014 09:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it (My grandfather used to say that all the time)
Aug. 14th, 2014 05:08 am (UTC)
Ha! This is definitely punishment for some serious offense! :)
Aug. 14th, 2014 04:24 pm (UTC)
I am sure at least Fehed will not be repeating the behavior that led to this punishment!
Aug. 14th, 2014 05:54 am (UTC)
Ha! this is serious fun..;)..enjoyed reading this..:) Poor chaps..:D
Aug. 14th, 2014 04:25 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it, I'm sure they will learn their lesson after this experience though.
Aug. 14th, 2014 05:55 am (UTC)
It's fun to me how often stories of this group are actually cute!
(Not what you'd normally expect from their lot, but definitely enjoyable! ;)

Edited at 2014-08-14 05:56 am (UTC)
Aug. 14th, 2014 04:26 pm (UTC)
You need a little light heartedness, not everything can be action all of the time that would get boring.
Aug. 14th, 2014 12:06 pm (UTC)
A funny piece.
Aug. 14th, 2014 04:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Aug. 14th, 2014 01:37 pm (UTC)
Very amusing! Definitely punishment.
Aug. 14th, 2014 04:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you, having to deal with a class room of rowdy kids yeah that is punishment
Aug. 14th, 2014 06:11 pm (UTC)
I like the fact that Vittorio just went ahead and told them the truth (the are spies, right? Or did I read that wrong?). Because fifth graders are easily impressed.
Aug. 15th, 2014 07:22 pm (UTC)
Well there more of a tactical unit than spies but they operate in foriegn terratory so.... Yes fifth graders are easily impressed
Aug. 14th, 2014 08:34 pm (UTC)
oh I know no punishment more taxing than this ..... fifth graders !!! Amusing to say the least :)
Aug. 15th, 2014 07:24 pm (UTC)
It sounds as though you are speaking from experience on dealing with fifth graders. I'm gald you found it amusing thank you.
Aug. 15th, 2014 12:16 am (UTC)
I liked this. It has a casual feel to it, but the content suggests otherwise, and the dialogue flows nicely. I'd love to see just how they ended up with this punishment, but even more so, I'd love to see what they actually DO, in terms of work!
Aug. 15th, 2014 07:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and to see what it is they do, stay tuned, as I write in this world regularly (I've had it in my head since I was 16), or, for previous episodes that give a sample of them in action, you could check out: Escalation and Project X.

Edited at 2014-08-15 09:15 pm (UTC)
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )